Some things turn out right

Ok, so I bought a laptop. It's cool and I am very excited to receive it. Very excited. It's that feeling of when you first realize you can do whatever you want and no one cares enough or at all to stop you. You are grown up. Make your own decisions and you feel all powerful. Of course there is the falling down part later. I will get it and realize that once again freedoms come with temptation(in the form of buying music and wasting my money away) and added responsibility. I will be in charge of this and if it breaks or is broken, I can't run to mom and dad. Not that I would. Ok I would but not to have them fix it. I like to tell them things that happen. Maybe this is why I talk to my mom everyday. At first it was just comfort. Now it's because she's my mom and I love her. She sometimes has good advice and will always listen at least. Occasionally, I wish I didn't feel like I had to call her. I like to but somedays I just want to live my life. Maybe I can email her instead.
Unrelated topic: My brother is rad. All my brothers are rad but at the moment the oldest one is the coolest. He has a way of making me see things. I don't realize how amazingly complicated I make matters until he stops me and says "Stephie pretend you are grabbing this person or people by the shoulders and saying 'Screw You' and leaving." Somehow this makes me realize that in the grand scheme of things that whatever it is this person has said or done it doesn't really matter. I am in control and I can chose what I do and I shouldn't take whatever they dish out to me. So if you ever read this, dear oldest brother, you are awesome and I love you. Thanks for not letting me turn into the standard "Molly Mormon." I appreciate it more than I can tell you.

Days go by

Have you ever realized that the closer a deadline is the faster the days go. I have less then 2 weeks to get 3 projects done for my class. I don't know how I am going to do this. I hate it. I should have started at the beginning of the semester but did I? No! That would be silly, getting a head start on things. Actually I really feel that I do my best work under pressure or at least work. Otherwise nothing happens. Hence the end of semester panic I feel. I really want to buy a laptop I think. I am serious enough about this to research it. I found the best deal but it is only for today. That is kind of annoying because I have to decide now. I hate that. Deliberation is great. Half the time I can talk myself out of anything given enough time and if I really want to.
So I am having some unexplainable annoyance with one of my roommates. I don't know what it is. Actually that is a lie. All of them are on this kick that I like someone. They keep asking questions like if you could date anyone who would it be. I honestly don't think that they have a clue. Acutally I know they don't. One of them, the one who asked the question is the one that annoyed me. Maybe it's just that I feel it none of their business. If I wanted to tell you I would. If I thought me and anyone were going to have a relationship (yeah right who is going to date the girl that is leaving for 3 months and may never be coming back) I would probably tell them. Since I haven't I think that they shouldn't try to drag it out of me. I find that extremely annoying and frustrating because now if that happens I wouldn't want to tell them anything at all. I am like that, silently stubborn, and if you push me too hard you get the opposite of whatever it is you wanted. HA!

Just want to break things

So it's been one of those days. Woke up later than I wanted and felt like I had wasted the day. Started writing my paper. Finished my paper with room to spare, a good thing this time. Realized my paper wasn't in the right font size and wanted to throw my laptop across the room. Went to the library and fixed it. A thought entered my head, just print it off now. Tried it. Don't have enough money on card to print. NOOOOO!! This really pissed me off. Where I come from the school gives you money on your card at the first of the year. It's only $2 but it is enough for me to print everything off for the entire semester. What's worse is that I thought I would be ok without a real lunch. Wrong. I can tell that most of this ranting is hunger induced. Now I have to go home get some money. Figure out how to put it on my card and then print it off. How do I do that?! I guess I will be ok but at the moment I really just want to be angry. I want to know if I should transfer schools. I want to know where my life is going. I want to know what I should do. What is the right decision? I guess I better get going. Later.
P.S. Yesterday's rant was sort of out of nowhere but my friends can be a bit boy crazy. Not that it is a bad thing it just makes me frustrated.

So I don't really know why I am here right now

So I don't really know why I am here right now except for I am exceptionally bored. The more I think about it the more I realize that everyone around me is ready for marriage. Even my friends who are younger than me. They, whether they know it or not, are ready for the challenge and I think even hoping it will happen soon. I expect in the next 2 years or so to receive at least 2 r 3 wedding invitations from them. Me, on the other hand, I know that I could be ready. Ok, ok, I will admit it, I am ready but the difference is this: I don't really want it. There it's out in the open. The thought of being married at 19 or 20 terrifies me. I don't want to deal the hassle of dating boys. It wears me out. I think that any boy interested in me had better take it slow. Be a friend first and a boyfriend later. I really like the idea of knowing this person and being his friend before ever seriously dating. I don't go for the whole 3 weeks and then we're engaged thing. I freaks me out to think that that would ever happen to me (which it won't). Of course that is the whole catch with guys is it not. Finding the right moment when you have been friends long enough that it is ok but not so long that there won't be any fun in dating. Of course if you don't have fun just because you have been friends too long I think that you should really reconsider pursuing each other.
Other news: I had a bubble fight with my roommate. It was fun and I accidentally kissed a bubble. Our TV has been taken. That's ok, I prefer reading anyway. It has been a wonderfully uneventful holiday. Now back to the real world. Ugh.

This is all very strange

So I guess today I am just testing this out. Getting my feet wet so to speak. I don't really have anything to say except maybe I should get home before the bread I am making explodes. That would be sad. So I'll write later.