Monday Hug Day!

This was a somewhat well established institution in my life that ended abruptly about a year ago. I miss it. I like hugs. Monday hug day was a good excuse to get a hug and not feel awkward about it. I guess I really needed a hug today and unfortunately I didn't get one until just about twenty minutes ago. It's not like you can go up and ask someone to give you a hug. Well you could but it's difficult to be that brave. Plus what I wanted was a good old fashioned arms all the way around you, squeeze the life out of you, your eyes might pop out, I actually care kind of hug. I don't know very many people who would give me that type of hug except my family and 2 or 3 others. My family doesn't live here and those other people don't live here either, some never did and some don't live here anymore. So basically I was stranded without a good hug until my roommate gave me one. The reason for the hug is that I got sick and I was feeling very ache and just wanted the day to end or my mommy or a hug. Since I couldn't have the first two I settled for a hug. I tried asking for one but it didn't work as well as a heartfelt hug. Anyway, I have decided to label each day of the week because they have been labeled already and this is how I will think of them for the rest of my life.
Sunday- A day of rest and contemplation. Of church and visiting.
Monday-HUG DAY! Not anymore but I might revitalize this proud tradition if I gain enough courage.
Tuesday-Lie Day. I don't know why but I was talking to someone about this and they told me that they had a day of deceit.
Cheating Wednesday- A day to break from tradition. You shouldn't cheat on anything that is important but everything else is fair game.
Thursday- Happy Factory. I don't really have anything for Thursdays. It's just kind of there but I do go to Happy Factory sometimes.
Bad Movie Friday- You shouldn't go and watch movies that are yucky. This is a day dedicated to movies that you would never want to see again because they are so cheesy or horribly done that you just want to cover your eyes and ears until it is over.
Saturday- Date Night, not that I get any but you never know. It could happen one day.
P.S. The triangle exploded with very few injuries. I was relieved.
P.P.S When speaking of both of your humerus bones, should they be referred to as humeri or humeruses? I like the first one best but I don't know.
P.P.P.S If you have spinal meningitis it is supposed to hurt at the top of you spine and not the base, right? Maybe I just need to have my spine adjusted or I'm a hypochondriac (I don't know how to spell that).

Gut Feelings

I like to think that I have good interpersonal skills usually. I like to think that I am brave in the face of danger or social awkwardness. I like to think that I can keep a secret. I like to think that I think before I act. I like to think that I am tolerant and patient. The truth of the matter is that I am somewhat less then what I would like to be. Things collide and force us to face the truth about ourselves and decide which path is better for us to take. You sit there and stare at the road less traveled and then decide to travel the more beaten path only to realize that you don't know where you are and now have to backtrack. It is easy to slip into the nothingness of society. You don't realize that life has run away with you and that you have changed. You have to re-evaluate yourself. Have you lost what is most important? Have you changed at the core? Can you still feel good about who you are? Even when you answer in the positive, you still feel like something is wrong. The problem lies with the outward expression of the inner expressions. What is appropriate for me to say or do around people. The human persona has always fascinated me. How can you tell how to act around certain people in almost an instant? How can you determine someone you know you can be a friend with from almost the first meeting or someone you hope to never speak to again? First impressions are often false but I have yet to feel that they really are. I prefer to believe that perspectives change. They change how they think about you and therefore their actions toward you change or vice versa. These feelings about people are unarticulated and yet are the most powerful and potent. They determine the fate of the relationship. They focus everything. Focused in the wrong direction they could destroy but when channeled properly they bring lifetime friendships and unwavering loyalty and admiration. I don't know what my point is. I know that there is one. I guess I just don't want to be afraid to be a friend. Last week I was a total jerk to someone in a somewhat precarious position. I wish I was brave enough to face embarrassment. I don't even know this person's name or I would apologize. Maybe he doesn't even remember what happened but it made me pause and think about who I have become and what I should do to become a better person than I am now.
P.S. There is the whole silly love triangle thing going on within my group of friends. I guess I shouldn't call it silly because it isn't silly to them. I just wonder how I get dragged into these things. I can't think of why they tell me either because I just tell them all the same thing. Anyhow, I hope that it doesn't get out of control.
P.P.S. There has also been some question of how soon is too soon to talk about marriage with you significant other. My roommate and her boyfriend of two weeks seem to think that now is the time. I am of the school of thought that says if you are comfortable talking about it, then go right ahead. Others seem to think that anytime before you are actually engaged is too soon. Also, I have heard something I have never heard before. Some say that you shouldn't date FHE family because you may be mistake the feeling of the Spirit for liking someone. I, for one, have never thought that liking someone and the Spirit felt the same but who am I to say maybe I think I am feeling the Spirit when I actually just have a crush on the guy standing next to me. By the by, the last sentence was meant to be sarcastic.

What happens when they free you?

I had plans this weekend. Gloriously organized and they had the potential of saving me a lot of grief and hardwork. I was going to do homework all day Saturday. I was going to be a productive student for the first time in the history of my college education. I was going to be free for the next week. Then I realized that all of my roommates were leaving for the weekend. Now at the beginning I will say that I was a little saddened by the fact that I would be all alone. Then the idea sunk in. I was going to be..by myself! Then the roommates started in. They were feeling guilty about leaving me behind. This clouded my mind with thoughts that I would miserable and lonely. So the day they left, I was feeling nervous. Was I really going to be lonely without them? NO! It has been a joyous three day break from worrying about whether how sloppy I am is going to make my roommate upset or if she minds but isn't telling me. It was wonderful not to worry about walking into the living room and finding my roommate and her fiance kissing or cuddling or basically making me crazy( if you are going to plan a wedding please don't ask my advice I beg of you please). No one coming in at midnight and swooning because the guy was so cute or he talked to her or looked at her. No nothing. Silence and whatever I felt like doing or not doing, that is what I did. No loud music waking me up at 7 so they don't have to listen to silence while they get ready in the morning. No feeling guilty because I don't want to go and do this or that or make a complete fool of myself. Needless to say I was a good weekend. I do wish that I had been able to go down to Utah for a day to see people and whatnot but really I don't have that kind of money to throw around( and no place to sleep).
P.S. I saw the Teton Dam yesterday. It was a dam. Nothing really exciting. Company is really what makes something fun. I was with my neighbor. I really like her. She's cool.

The Day After...

I boycott a lot of things. I opt out of most forms of games and performances. I don't handle pressure very well. I don't purposfully boycott Valentine's Day. It just isn't that big of a deal. I do like chocolate a lot but I can buy my own (which I did. I really do like snickers but I really wanted a Carmello which is like the best candy bar ever invented.). I don't care about flowers and poetry embarrasses me. Valentine's day is just like any other. Mine wasn't like every other day. I went to Little Tots. I wish this had something to do with miniture tater tots but, alas, it has to do with young children affectionately known as "tots." I guess it is because they toddle but really these kids must have skipped that part because toddle is too cute of a word to describe them. Not that they were bad or anything there were just many, many of them like 30. It was like standing in the middle of a rampaging herd of timy elephants ( not that they were huge but they had great strength). Anyhow, it wasn't the best way to spend the evening. P.S. I got to go help my roommate with her math. Sorry. Later.

Wove...True Wove

I have never experienced love, in the romantic sense. I have never been close to marrying anyone and don't really date (not because of a lack of desire but a lack of opportunity). At the moment I seem to be surrounded by it but never part of it. This isn't bad or hurtful, occasionally it does make me nauseous or frustrated. I don't mind the constant chatter about this boy or that one. Anyone who has gone to BYU or BYU-I DO have experienced this kind of thing and the almost seemingly conspired talk about marriage at stake conference (like I said to my roommate what can you expect when the conference is about family and you are in a single student stake. It's to be expected). So that is what was talked about in stake conference. There was not one talk that seemed to give relief or talk of something else. Yesterday's meeting, today's meeting, all the same with no end in sight. Our stake pres. got up and gave a wonderful talk that reminded me of "got milk" commercials. He said marriage is good for you and then listed multiple good reasons why we should get married. I wanted to raise my hand and point out that I wasn't trying to avoid marriage but that it was avoiding me. I also thought about raising my hand and saying since there were so many benefits, if anyone wanted to get married I would be holding interveiws directly after the meeting. Then I realized that they had once again left out something important to me. I don't want to marry just any old joe. I want to marry someone I love. They talked of family and how much happiness it brings. The life experience and benefits there are to being married. The children and the grandchildren. They forgot, in all their encouragement, the fact that life being married to the wrong person can be torture and can be the most devastating experience ever. So I am holding out despite their persistance and their hope that I will get married right now. I'm holding out. Maybe I read too much into their talks, maybe they didn't mean get married right now, maybe they were just talking to those ready to be married. I don't know.
P.S. There were a couple quotes that I loved throughout the entire thing. This one is my favorite. I had never heard it before. It goes,"People are like Slinkys. They're useless but it sure puts a smile on your face when you push them down the stairs."

Life as we know it

Life as I know it if undoubtedly different from life as you know it. There are always things that everyone experiences. Birthdays for instance. Everyone has one but birthdays as you know them and birthdays as I know them are different. I was told the other day that since I have 3 brothers, I know more about the male thought process and logic than other females around me. I do not believe this to be so. I think it is all about how I view life and how others view life. I think if anything having only brothers has taught me a couple things. One that even though it's easy to generalize about genders, the fact of the matter is that everyone is different. Being male or female has some impact but not everything to do with it. You must allow for individual personality. Second is that most girls are crazy. I know that I am insulting my own gender but really come on. Think about some of the things girls do. I should also include guys in here too but I notice it more in girls. Some of us are crazy. I guess I can't generalize after what I said before but still it's something I learned from my brothers. Third, don't take no crap from nobody. If it's being dished out to you, choke it down and then punch them in the face if you can't think of a good come back. I learned how to take it. I even can sort of dish it out even though I need more practice. My conclusion is that these factors plus many more have effected my point of view. They make me slightly different from the me I could be if I had sisters and brothers. I guess this makes it seem like I know how guys think (but really come on people!) and it also makes me everyone's kid sister.
P.S. I really enjoy me FHE family this semester. At the moment I don't feel awkward about it like I usually do. It's so fun too. We have 2 converts, one of about 2 years and another of about 8 months. You don't realize how silly primary songs look when they are done by grown people. We sang Book of Mormon stories including hand movements. My FHE sister about died laughing. Here is a group of 20 year old and older people all doing the gestures and she just couldn't stop laughing. Just think about if you saw a group of pastors or something sitting around in a meeting and they all decide to sing Once there was a snowman. It would be hilarious!